Facing the breakup of their parents’ marriage is a traumatic event for a child. At the same time, difficulties may have made it impossible for you and your spouse to stay together. Children recover quickly provided they are given love and support, and the situation in your home leading up to your divorce was likely less than ideal. Having their parents live apart from each other is preferable to living amidst constant fighting and disagreements. Your child can adjust to this new situation, and the following tips can help.
While you cannot eliminate all of the impacts your children are likely to experience as the result of your divorce, there are ways you can minimize the effect it has on them. Kids Health advises that thousands of children go through the breakup of their parents’ marriage each year. How they react is likely to depend on their age, their personality, and the details involved in your particular situation, but the following are six ways you can help them through the process:
Be honest with them.
Be honest about the fact that you and your spouse can no longer live together and that there will be some major changes taking place, but assure them you will get through it all together.
Do not ‘overshare’.
While honesty is important, you want to avoid overloading children with too much information. Keep in mind their age, and speak in general terms about why you and your spouse are divorcing.
Aim for consistency.
While staying in the marital home may be preferable, your child can easily recover from a move provided you bring personal items such as furniture and family mementos with you.
Put their needs first.
Make it a priority to support them at school and in recreational activities. Plan time for special outings and be available to talk as needed.
Avoid bad mouthing the other parent.
Illinois divorce statutes provide for time sharing arrangements, which allow both parents to play an active and engaged role in the child’s life. In general, it is in your child’s best interest to support their relationship with your former spouse.
Take care of yourself.
Your child is depending on you to help them get through this challenging time, Make sure to take care of yourself as well.
At Sabuco, Beck, Hansen & Massino, P.C., we have the experience needed to guide you through every aspect of your divorce. Contact our Will County divorce attorneys and request a consultation to discuss your case today.
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